As always, I have to start out my year with a complaint. On the night of New Year’s Day, I came down with some kind of horrible bug and commenced to shivering and sweating and aching in the joints all night and most of the next day. The next night was marginally better, as was the next day, and now I’m back at work with only a 1 degree higher than normal temperature.
It was seriously so bad on January 2 that when I got up to take the dogs out (I was watching a friend’s dog), I had to lay down on the sidewalk for five minutes because I thought I was going to pass out. “You couldn’t just have sat?” asked my mother. In fact, no, I had to lay, it was that bad. “Are you ok?!” hollered a concerned landscaper who saw me go down. “No, I have the fluuuuuu! I need to reeeeeeest!” I whined back, and that was enough of an answer for him to leave me alone. Sorry to disappoint the romantics, but I was not picked up and gallantly carried to safety that day. Instead, after I got my wits about me, I got back up with a dirt clod in my hair (not discovered till later, unfortunately) and shambled back inside.
So anyway, I’m still not 100% today, and I think it’s partially because I swear they put rat poison in my apartment over Christmas break and I’ve somehow come in contact with it. Or I might just be sick. Either way.
Pro Tip: Even gallant knights tend to shy away when they ask a damsel in distress if she needs assistance and she starts yelling “NOOOO I’M JUST HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS”
I’m not very hoistable anyway.
That reminds me of when i broke my middle finger. Having nearly passed out from the pain, I decided that I would still go downstairs, get in my car and drive to work. I thought I was all fine and dandy, but a four separate people tried to stop me from getting in my car because i was so pale. One very nice couple chased after me as I stumbled through the parking lot and made me sit there for a bit before they let me drive away.
The best part of that story is really that I thought the place to go with a broken finger was work. And that when i got to work, i did not have the most impressive injury there. My coworker had gone tubing the day before and completely messed up his hand (swollen, rope burns, couple sprained fingers).
I actually saw the landscaper again this morning. He yelled at me this time: “Remember me?” I go, “Barely… I was so sick!” and he said, “Don’t worry, I had the flu that day, too.” So now I know why he didn’t carry me away on his steed – he was also sick. Mystery solved.
hahahahahahahahahaha